s-t-f-u.com
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s-t-f-u.com/about

About this site

Telling someone directly goes badly. Sending a link goes fine. That's the entire idea.


Every page here is a permanent address you can send to someone. It explains the annoying thing calmly, says why it lands badly, offers a better option, and — importantly — admits when the annoying thing is actually fine. That last part is what stops it being a lecture.

The pages are deliberately short. If it takes longer to read than the behaviour takes to fix, nobody reads it.

There's also an anonymous option. It makes a one-time link, so the person sees the page and your note but not your name. Use it kindly. It's for the colleague you can't correct, not for people you don't like.

This owes an obvious debt to nohello.net, which figured out the format first and did it better than anyone.

Missing a page? There's a very long list of annoying things and only twelve of them are here so far.

Why it lands badly

  • Why anonymous?

    Because the person who most needs a page is usually the person you're least able to tell.

  • Why so many languages?

    Annoying is universal. Being annoyed in your second language is worse.

Do this instead

  • Suggest a page

    If there's a thing people do that belongs here, it probably does.

  • Translate one

    The content is plain JSON files. Adding a language is one file.

When it's completely fine

Sending someone three of these at once. Bold, but valid.

Questions people ask

Is this passive aggressive?
It's aggressively passive, which is different and much more efficient.
Can I use these at work?
That's mostly what they're for. Nothing here swears at anyone. The domain does that.

Send this to someone

Copy the link, or send it anonymously with a one-line note.

Send anonymously

We'll make a one-time link. They see this page and your note. They don't see you.

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